Suicide/Death is approaching....and I don't know which one will come first.

I had food poisoning all day the other day and I literally thought I was going to die. 

I was determined to kill myself before I went to bed if I didn't die before that. I think I ate some bad meatloaf at the dining hall on Tuesday, because Wednesday I was a fucking wreck. I was puking and shitting all day and I could not stop. By the time 7pm came around I could not walk. My back hurt, my face hurt, my throat hurt, my asshole hurt...I was in so much pain.

I got a shit load of pills out of the cabinet when I came home from work (I had to work a double that day...fuckin kill me) and set them next to my bed...and I got a glass of water. Before I could even take a drink I disappointingly fell asleep.

I woke up the next day groggy and fatigued. Killing myself was out of the picture for a couple of hours but I still thought I might pass out next to the toilet if I puked one more time.

Anyway, that was a bad day. 

jwebb